This post really has nothing to do with being creative so I hope you will indulge me for a bit.
A week and half ago I did something that I never dreamed I could do…I ran a marathon.
If you follow me on social media or know me in real life, you know that I am a runner, but you might not know my story (if you do…I’ll try to make it short and sweet.)
I am not one of those people who has been athletic all her life. I get the statement a lot of “you must have played basketball or volleyball, right?” because of my height, but that couldn’t be the furthest from the truth. I was a music girl and never tried because I was scared of failing.
When I was about 15 years old I was thinking about going into the Air Force and joined their junior program called Civil Air Patrol. One of the requirements to advance in rank is to run a mile, getting faster with each rank. I remember coming home from one of those physical tests and being disappointed because I couldn’t run a mile in under 12 minutes and therefore didn’t receive my next rank. Someone in my life made the comment “Really? I could walk a mile in 12 minutes.”
I remember being devastated. I had failed and fear of failure was one of my biggest fears. I became mentally frozen when it came to the idea of doing anything athletic and that fear lasted 19 years, until I was 34.
By that time, I had been married for 12 years and had 3 kiddos. My best friend was a runner and I just thought that was amazing…for her. I could never do it. I was still living in that mind-set of that 15 year old who was devastated to have failed at running a mile
At the time, I was dealing with some other fear laden issues in my life. Some of them, I didn’t have control over and I was just STUCK in this period of sadness, depression and hurt. I desperately wanted to have control of SOMETHING..anything. I just felt lost.
Many friends had posted on social media that they had used the Couch to 5K app and it was very helpful. I looked it up and saw that you could do that first 4 workouts for free. The first week of workouts were to run for 1 minutes and walk for a minute and a half.
So…I took a chance. I took a chance, thinking “I can run for a minute…I think.”
And I did it. And then I did day 2. And then I did day 3. And then day 4. And then I bought the full app so that I could do the whole 9 weeks.
And I did it. I told that 15 years old mind-set that it no longer had control over me. I was released from that bondage and it became a gateway to finding freedom in so many more areas of my life.
When my mind starts to learn towards the “I can’t thoughts” I can look at what I HAVE done and tell myself “remember when you said you could NEVER do that?”
I was a 15 year old who couldn’t run a mile who allowed myself to become an adult who still felt inadequiate.
Now…I’ve run 4 5Ks, an 8K, a 10K, 4 half marathons and now a full-marathon. And that’s just “official” races…that doesn’t even include the amount of miles put in during training. So far in 2017, I have run over 300 miles.
I FEEL FEARLESS. I feel like nothing is impossible.
Yes…it will be hard. Yes..it will take time and effort and maybe some blood and tears, but…
You will cross your finish line…whatever that looks like for you (a new job, a revived relationship, having a child)…and when you reach that finish line…you will feel invincible. You will feel like nothing is impossible, because…it’s not. You will have shown yourself that you are stronger than you thought you were before you started this journey. You will look back at the blood, sweat and tears and be able to say “They were all worth it.” and truly mean it.
Thank you for indulging me today as I share this little piece of my heart and a chapter of my story.
Here are some pics from my race. I am hesitant to share them only because I look like crap in most of them, but hey…most people look like crap at the end of 26.2 miles. LOL
I hope you enjoy them all.
Until Next time,